Cause I riffed off all this youth paraphernalia in this clean green room.


But it was my room soooo…


In the room dad died,

bonjo just texted me saying I can’t make music here I barely read her little drama paragraph - mom just talked shit for over an hour on the phone to her and all she had resources for was sending a text. FYI I never read long drama texts, that’s why my smile crinkles are coming in full swing early like a big band. And the band plays on. I think I’m more angry than sad that I can’t do a serious recording session in the room my dad died, when he bought me a nice scarlet interface to record with from the hopsice bed when I was taking care of him, I didn’t ask for it, he just surprise got it for me. And I found tears in my eyes at the beach today, meditating day two of sobriety feeling high as shit and the tears were more from the sunscreen why god every time I put sunscreen on my tears come? If I wanna cry about dad I’ll ask find the sunscreen. I’m too rushed right now to even eorry about it, no longer angry no longer sad, I’m miles, planets away from the fight with mom this morning, I’m out of this solar sytem, I’ve ran away with the van and the music equipment and played everywhere from madison to the sidewalks and I came back and bought the house and kicked out mom and put her in her new modest beach house and I turned the green room I painted I sit in now into a studio so I could record my best songs in the spot he died.


moms outa commission
too much stress in the kitchen
is it from the weird buzzing  
in the kitchen?
lifes short
stress is her intuition
at this point
I can do nothing
to do with dreaming here
cept changing fonts on
dreaming I could bump the monitors
dreaming I wasn't sick
with a chest infection
dreaming I could sing
and it wouldn't break me and my room surrounding

 A magnitude 4.0 hit just earlier
 california and she's watching the news
 LA anchors look weird and fake compaired
 to our central coast anchors
 and I'm about to fall asleep
 after 500000 tiny edits
 and ginger tea
 and ginger me please
 h was learning candy on guitar
 I'm using US color schemes
 instead of the old sunset slut colors
 and I'm a new me
 it's day 2 of the decade
 doesn't quite ring as well as the first
 yesterday was so exciting
 but nothing to today
 cause I wanted to run away
 I didn't think we'd work out
 cause that ditch at the beach
 sought me out
 I wanna die there
 one day
 and thought this 'd be the month
 when mamma don't want you around
 when mamma don't want you to record
 what you dumped thousands of hours into
 when mamma too stressed
 when mamma will regret
 her priorities now
 is the reason
 she'll be able
 to stay in this house
I don't miss drinking yet cause
yoga caught me
I caught the meditation bug
I'm higher than duck fucking an Artifical sex Duck
all this equipment here
I can't use
I can't afford to move
God likes to play jokes
that's why I pray for better jokes
not a better gold stroke
that's for idiots
and I wrote a really hilarious thing about stupid people
but I won't put it here
cause I'm planets away from that dear
QUACK! Im out

Drop mic*

Night I Got Old Yeller

2020-01-02 22:01:39 -0800 -0800

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