Cause I riffed off all this youth paraphernalia in this clean green room.
But it was my room soooo…
In the room dad died,
bonjo just texted me saying I can’t make music here I barely read her little drama paragraph - mom just talked shit for over an hour on the phone to her and all she had resources for was sending a text. FYI I never read long drama texts, that’s why my smile crinkles are coming in full swing early like a big band. And the band plays on. I think I’m more angry than sad that I can’t do a serious recording session in the room my dad died, when he bought me a nice scarlet interface to record with from the hopsice bed when I was taking care of him, I didn’t ask for it, he just surprise got it for me. And I found tears in my eyes at the beach today, meditating day two of sobriety feeling high as shit and the tears were more from the sunscreen why god every time I put sunscreen on my tears come? If I wanna cry about dad I’ll ask find the sunscreen. I’m too rushed right now to even eorry about it, no longer angry no longer sad, I’m miles, planets away from the fight with mom this morning, I’m out of this solar sytem, I’ve ran away with the van and the music equipment and played everywhere from madison to the sidewalks and I came back and bought the house and kicked out mom and put her in her new modest beach house and I turned the green room I painted I sit in now into a studio so I could record my best songs in the spot he died.
moms outa commission too much stress in the kitchen is it from the weird buzzing in the kitchen? lifes short stress is her intuition at this point I can do nothing to do with dreaming here cept changing fonts on https://poliw.at dreaming I could bump the monitors dreaming I wasn't sick with a chest infection dreaming I could sing and it wouldn't break me and my room surrounding A magnitude 4.0 hit just earlier california and she's watching the news LA anchors look weird and fake compaired to our central coast anchors and I'm about to fall asleep after 500000 tiny edits and ginger tea and ginger me please h was learning candy on guitar I'm using US color schemes instead of the old sunset slut colors and I'm a new me it's day 2 of the decade doesn't quite ring as well as the first yesterday was so exciting but nothing to today cause I wanted to run away I didn't think we'd work out cause that ditch at the beach sought me out I wanna die there one day and thought this 'd be the month when mamma don't want you around when mamma don't want you to record what you dumped thousands of hours into when mamma too stressed when mamma will regret her priorities now is the reason she'll be able to stay in this house I don't miss drinking yet cause yoga caught me I caught the meditation bug I'm higher than duck fucking an Artifical sex Duck QUACK! QUACK! all this equipment here I can't use I can't afford to move God likes to play jokes that's why I pray for better jokes not a better gold stroke that's for idiots and I wrote a really hilarious thing about stupid people but I won't put it here cause I'm planets away from that dear so QUACK! Im out Drop mic*