Chicken Brain after pop eyes.
2132 || Been offline never got to get this screen fixed but setup with ted’s monitor in the room . been sleeping next to dad since flying back, maybe it’s been seven days now. yeah about that really. this is the hardest period of my life. || dads in the hospice bed and I’ve been recording every day; people visiting, mom and I taking care of him, music, the nurses, bonnie and her two daughters, phone calls, voicemails, etc. Today was the first day I was really paralyzed with grief and was mostly planted next to my dad wherever he wanted to post up - I played his tele with a battery amp lying back on the couch, the hammock, the piano bench, the stool. I asjdadfljasdf can’t think straight and neither can my mom, and my dad’s taking morphene every day since before I got back so he’s a little loopy so Helen is going to be like gandalf the white when she arrives about wednesday night. I’ll pick her up in slo.
I want to write about all that’s been happening and it’s mostly been chicken scribbles of events without thought. I’m aimless except for this setlist of some of my best songs I want to do with jordan and his brother daniel as a way of therapy. it’ll sound like smooth rnb hip hop with a touch of mac miller vibes. 2 guitars with octave pedals and a cahone to start then jordan’s bare minimum drum kit with soft sticks / brushes. just light and smooth baby. that’s all I want to play lately it’s just good mediciene. haven’t been drowning myself in substances either, been totally clean all week aside from the hilarious situation of my dad asking his buddy dennis to bring a bottle of tequila over, and him and my mom are both alcoholics so it was just tooo funny getting us four to cheers to the ‘time we have left’ with my dad in the hospice bed and we each had about half a shot. It tasted way to smooth for all of us, and it was abrasive and awkward but we managed to put the bottle away, and it’s been sittiing in the dish washer since then, cause that’s where my dad said to put it. I was real surprised she put it there, knowing I know where it is. Dad has called me the beer locust here, I’ve been known to drink all their alcohol and they don’t notice till those critical times they really want a drink. || gonna audio edit allllllll this stuff