Fridat 753 AM

Is today the day I successfully block everything out? That I stay sober?

I spliffed with Chad yesterday

what happened to my brain? I can fix it with meditation. I’ll work on the pomodor time schedule today, with these tasks

I'm committed to no more commitments
I'm on my own time
everyone can suck it
and will in

go home christian attitudes if you know

no on knows I making a music video
just watch my video Im serious though

Friday 927 AM

Okay at least I haven’t had alcohol in a while. Def need to start on a keto only diet today.

setting up the studio in the room. It’s a little sad that I am already having withdrawals a bit- looks like I went a little too hard on the paint.

Speaking of exess uses of little i



why my parents are plebs
and I never got over it
grover beach getting to crowded
so I hike
or die
cause everything in my life is
do or die
pay your dues
I tell myself
pay your dues
one day myself
will be able to

Frida 959 AM

Today is the first day I’m sober still this long. Lol it’s only 10 AM . I’m making a big deal out of it, I mean being awake for this long without doing some fix. I really grew to hate my house back up in SC - because something wouldn’t work then I would get a second wind too early, cause we know it’s all about that second wind around 5 pm.

I’m organizing files and this time, it’s going to work. I have minimal distractions here at my parents house. I spent the morning organizing files and while when I have to wait for my POS faptop - I have been setting up the studio here. I really wanna throw down on some more gretsch as a reward.

yesterday I spent most of the day helping chad with registering the salvage car title stuff. It didn’t go that well and we left it at - in 2 day Tmobile will send me a list of all my phone call history, so that we can try and track down that guy that sold us the car.

I doubt we’ll get in contact with him, and I doubt further that he will help us.

But anyways

will I always feel estranged from society? Cause that’s all I know. But then there are so many times when that is simply not the case.

I’m not eating yet because I want to go go keto but there is limited keto food in the kitchen. I think my food stamps re upped today so I wanna go shopping, but don’t want to stop working here. So I think I’ll fast and then try and go later tonight right before TJs closes.

Fridat 1056 AM

alright alright I got arcade working

got 40 gigs of shit off my laptop so it’s running better

I started on a new Vault 36 master folder for sounds

which I’ll then upload

I still haven’t talked to anyone back in SC

I’m eloping by myself

just going to be sober in this white room with one whole wall as a mirror

and going to just go ham on churning out music videos.

the simpler the better. If I set parameters then I’ll be able to go faster. but damn it’s not just about that. I don’t know. I’m going crazy honesty to god .


thank god I have music otherwise I’d be fucked.

I can go sober way easier cause of it


Frdat 12 17

tomorrow is dan’s celebration since getting better from cancer

I just talked to him for a second after grabbing my tripod and mic from chad’s house. is down.


so many to host

so many to see


friday 130 PM

darlene has a bf I early riser now my finger nail has more motivation than your post why would I wanna be the best when history shows the beset are shot misused and abused

I just lost my cell phone

please don't call sister though

mail me your business cards I could use some crutches think of you through a toke a smoke I stoked on this one


jehso two worlds

two worlds

inside your mind
each moment suspended disbelief
give me a sentence please
just the right one

today is the day I that block it all out  
into pillows over past talk I shout

late at night can't sleep on the clock

all the time is running out

that why I running by to pick up my mic from chad

to play a gretsch from dad

to hurl stones I mad

just quit smoking

me when I'm smoking and toking and me when
I riding party waves of sobriety to every partay

two worlds
left brain then right
freestyle I mike

you had me at garlic fries

tuesdat 924 PM


Woke Up Early Finally and Dinner for Three

2018-09-07 07:49:13 -0700 -0700

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