Sunday 451 PM
I got super fire audio yesterday.
I’ve been spray painting two song writing clipboards and a lamp I found. I started cleaning my dad’s workshop space but realized I didn’t have enough time.
this all happened yesterday.
this is day 4 sber and I feel pretty okay - just a lil mad at stuff.
Like the first two days of sober my mom starting saying some dumb shit to me and I normally can play it cool and let her run, but not on these two mornings. So we had two fights and now although when I’m nice to her she’s still all butthurt. She’s bipolar about it. So my strategy is to just leave no trace, keep everything super clean and hide out with headphones in the studio. I had a good talk with darlene last night about 50 shades and life in general. I have 11 doll- no wait craig gave me 30 bucks to DD last night!!! ahaha I told him I would’ve done it for free but he gave it to me anyways, quading my muns. I can now put that in the bank or give that to my mom and get a train ticket to davis and then I’m heading to Oregon with Brianna.
Just got done helping chad james and stasia with final cleaning of the house. The dumpster is getting picked up tomorrow so I’d like to throw this box of old cables in there. Craig and I went to Bonnie and paul’s last night after his grandma’s memorial and a nice nostalgic hangout with kevin craig and chad. On the way back from the memorial yesterday afternoon, craig chad and I called the suicide hotline to ask the classic ‘what do we do’ about kevin cause he didn’t make it to the memorial. The guy was no help in my opinion except for going and vibing with him a bit instead of just going in guns ablazing. That was the perfect strategy, kevin was in a solid mood so we had a nice hangout on the wall while chad and kevin vaped (I haven’t had any). Then craig and I went to Paul’s octoberfest - which was more of a little family kickback with Graig Sierra dad and the rest. It was fun. Bonnie was so cute she got me nonalcoholic beer. Her and mom text a bunch of dumb drama shit and I’m glad that they do :) cause I had 5 of em while we played piano guitar and euk songs.
MILA IS SO CUTE AND has really good rhythm
so I know this is all disjointed but honestly my head is bleeding and I’m blindly angry about a few things. So Craig and I headed to lompoc which is rare for me and we hungout with Naim for the night. He’s a cool guy, his parents own two liquor stores which he will internet and sit pretty, he said it himself that’s what he wanted to do and didn’t really have any other things career wise lined up.
we started in his garage which was a clear party room with an old piano, cat shit and bottles and old couches and two really cute kittens. We hit the bars but I still haven’t found my wallet so I walked around and spoked with Darlene while they searched for trim to no avail. However ahahaha craig chased after some girl and we ended up hanging out with all of them at jack in the box and almost got kicked out. Craig and I didn’t get back home until like 5 am and then I wokeup at noon so that’s another reason I feel mad today.
I’m mainly angry cause my mom is being dumb
my dad is brain dead from painkillers
and being an accountabiliuddy with kevin is hard because he just sleeps all day or plays WoW, then goes to work.
and he missed craig’s grandma’s memorial as well as didn’t come help us today with moving stuff out of chad’s old house down the street. So I just wanna tell him he should kill himself and I don’t wanna be his accountabiliuddy because he obviously isn’t serious about getting better, and is behaving like a dead man walking. But I’ll hold my tongue and say it with a little more tact after I cool down a bit. I’m going to get high off music in here and post things for sale on letgo.
got some dumbells 1 30 p and 2 35 p’s for the studio :D smart pussy here we go ! look forward to it - nipomo is a desert.
sunday 855 pM
0-0-0-0-00-0 WOOO I could really use a second wind lol
looks like my dad could too he’s driving somewhere 0-0–0-0-0