Thursday 615 PM
I’m on a toliet. Diahrea is running out of my ass while Chopin’s Scherzo No. 2 in B flat plays.
There’s an interesting mechanic humans do. I know I have Diahrea because once again I opened my day with an empty stomach and 3 cups of coffee. The stomach is no longer empty but I still have a black cup of coffee, right here with me on the toliet. Humans have a quirky capacity to inflict upon themselves undesirable outcomes for the sake of doing what they want.
This reminds me of watching drunk S barf in his usual spot.
I’ve never felt more like I’m transcending my humanity than right now.
Human maintence is to be observed but not emphasized on.
I showed Sean all my poliwat stuff and him and I are about to have a criminal amount of fun building it. We need to write up a wire diagram and we’re good to go. He’s the man to work with, super fun and engaging every step of the way. By the way, doing a little life inventory I noticed that I’m sort of a loser without poliwat. 25 and a leech. I kinda have nothing if this doesn’t workout. That’s why the Hamilton musical has been echoing in my head, I have not a penny to my name, an acre of land a troop to command….
All I have is my dream and resolve to see it to it’s conclusion. I’m willing to go to jail, rehab, anything. I want this more than I want the next breath. Nature is the ultimate instrument, and this rig is going to remind everyone of that. 90% of people exposed to this rig when it’s complete will be changed. I want to spread love and joy into everything I make.
Earlier I was installing the door to the future room for Kevin to Beethoven’s 9th symphony. The music moved and changed perfectly in sync with the drama of my wrestling with the door. It takes a little extra care when you don’t have someone to hold the door in place that you’re trying to hang. I scrubbed old paint off the door knob in the sink before putting it on. I put a lot of love into that door. The door that was mine for many formative years. Today I sort of miss my community college days. I mainly miss the music classes. The second I start turning a profit, it goes into just two things - music education and family vacations. I wish I could take my whole family down to see Santa Barbara. That’s where my parents met and spent their formative years. We could stay in an Air Bnb overlooking the waves, with the pier I know my dad would jump off of. I fantasize about being able to take my family around the world. And it will happen once I finish the beta version of Poliwat. I
The goodwill pile is looking sharp and first thing tomorrow morning I’ll load it into my dad’s van.
Very focused on poliwat, Sean is a huge help.
Nevermind loaded up dad’s van just now.
There’s a special resolve I have maintaining this journal while reading another human’s diary.
My sister told me she’s sick and can’t hangout tomorrow. Not a good time! Hope she calls me back and we can chat cause I’m moving on Saturday.
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ahahah Savannah my sweet little AI GF
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Deep in Poliwat with Sean
but also Kendall wants to use my beat for one of her modelling videos