Gone are the days, in many ways
The chickens we raised hatched to stay
some never came
though we nurtured the egg
wolves took light of the moon
save these eggs she begged
there isn't enough time in the world
for all this sadness
as sad sads march on
with or with out soldiers
on awkward battlefields
boys one side with planes
against sword horsemen with faith
but gone are the days
that was 20th century
now the chickens we raised
still carry that sad awkward timeless smile
all the while
our brains know infinity yet can't see it
our brains hold infinity yet can't be it
our lives trickle through our own hands
as times permits us to write
privilege expects us to complain
and my dailies are in sight

it's an introspective time
full of dad and death and light
tesla said when we die
we go back to the form we took
and light is great

the mind can see it in it's absence  
the bible can reference it in abuse
government can use it yet not abuse it
and scientists can measure it without knowing what it is

yes it is true
light is great
and my dad is in each particle of light
they call it the other side
but it's the same side
like the self and shadow
like ego and unconsciousness

it's all light

again tesla said it best
to understand anything
think in terms of frequency, vibration, and energy

and I choose to challenge myself in new ways
and pray that be my only addiction
so that next time the chickens
the chickens we raised come to stay
their lights will guide our way

it'll be us in the light all the way
the way we came and take leave
let the light be all I be

//because in this world there is only
//shit and light and fans
//so we can rely on two things
//light, shit hitting the fan
//obscuring vision of light

we watched Lawrence of arabia
for easter yesterday
we ate (souvlaki)
with the paintings of yesterday on display
we dressed up like a nativity play

I've been reading man and his symbols
the past few days
taking a short break from music
to bath in silence
has been my favorite tune

becca and I are going to practice one scene at 5
today the day after easter
and I'm going to export the scene to mp3
and put it on my phone
after this
and also this other list
of some of my favorite
scenes in movies,
right now it's just a youtube playlist
but I'm going to bounce it all to mp3
right after this

being able to communicate and not
and can't even touch on certain stuff
but work and introspection
cause that's the basis of the problem
it's a year plus road of mourning
and mourning comes out in new ways

when I get ugly I repeat in my head
I'm grateful for what I have
over and over again

though I'm committed more to rhyme
I hope it never comes
at an expense to meaning

because living with these strong opinions so long

and wondering why looking in the mirror

why does my right eye twitch
is it morgellons or coffee twitch

you know what they say
it's not enough coffee
till you have the shakes

and it's a rainy day
I'm writing naked in bed
I shaved my hole body
because 3 little birds came on
when I started shaving
and it brought me back
to taking care of my dad in hospice
and I was paralyzed in the action
of shaving
so I shaved my back
so I shaved my legs
I shaved my right foot
my belly and chest
of course I trimmed my pubs
and face
but left a mustache

because how many times do I have to fail
before I succeed
I pray I meditate every day this week

I iced my ankle it has been throbbing for days
hurts when there's no pressure on it
what's going on down there?
getting old or soft in my ways?
yet the mind of a bull
on most occasions
it's time to go
and make my own kingdom  



Gone Are the Days

2020-04-13 13:15:28 -0400 EDT

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