With notes.

3:34 AM, Brooklyn

I’m sexually frustrated again

I don’t know what to do

when we do have sex she’s sandbag or mop

mop when her hair's wet

my best method is I give her massages

she just wants to ask what’s wrong and why

It’s not a stretch to say I need to make
real love to breath fire

but is this need to want

desire or lust

it’s just all the old people in my life  

that ever meant anything

wished they had more sex

and tomorrow I’ll be 28

so suffice to say sex everyday

isn’t over doing it

and mediocre sex every three days is killing me

so something needs to happen

I wanna have sex that uplifts us

I wanna have sex is a conspiracy

did the FBI lay this on me

I’m not depressed they couldn’t get me unhappy

so the easiest target for a rapper is to assault their dick

I wanna have sex
I wanna have sex that lifts us into the air

sex that proves curvature of the earth

I wanna have sex I wanna make love I wanna sweat

something’s gotta happen

she’s sexually dead she’s sexually remote like the himalayas

she’s anxious all the time she’s lazy in the sack

she’s the woman I love

she’s sleepy I’m smelly her throat hurts the room smells like boxes

there’s an excuse every time I ask for a blowjob

and she’s running out of excuses

she is sexually dead, a cold fish in the bottom of a polluted sea

she’s on day 1 of yoga I hope with will save thee

she’s asleep, she’s awake, she's asleep

she's awake in a rush I joke she’s nervous nancy

when awake there’s always something to be anxious about

and when the serious anxiety subsides

she rearranges the items in every room

until she gets sleepy again

too sleepy to make love

but sleepy enough to finally rest

just to wake and do it again

and this is what dating a writer is like

cause all that anxiety comes

from her work, she’s writing things in every room

and she should! She’s an expert on arrangements

there’s always something misplaced in our room

something to be done, anything but ...

I just woke from a nightmare, someone was going to come in and kill us

she wouldn’t wake, I shoved 10 fingers down her throat

she's wouldn't wake, not in the dream, not in real life

I spat on her face, I tapped her skull, I couldn't be loud
the killer was right outside

I grabbed the cleaver knives hanging on a pegboard

arms reach from the bed side

ready to throw one towards the door

the other I tapped her nose, hard multiple times

she wouldn't wake, the killer was in sight

her anxiety is contagious that’s the real light

her anxiety is internal yet she caught it from outside

but I don’t get it, I just wanna have sex

I wanna have sex I wanna have sex I wanna make love

I wanna not have to ask for blowjobs like some frontline

honey there's no war going on except with our time

I wanna go back to the old days without the old ways

where sex was more common than a meal cooked for me

was is having too good of ex’s part of my fall

that makes this thirst intolerable

sex every three days?

that’s for the plebs!

I wanna have sex, I wanna have sex

I wanna have sex, I wanna make love,
I wanna fuck like I used to

I wanna conjoin cells with laughs and screams and tears and sweat

and pillow talk that floats us above the bed

OH did I say, I wanna have sex?

My dad is dead her dad is dead I wanna have sex

I wanna make love that honors them

not ignores our precious little place

I wanna make love that makes us feel great

I wanna spend my days without the news

I wanna acknowledge fears and kick them out together

I wanna be more responsible with screen time

I wanna have sex

I’m strong in faith this feeling this part of my life will pass

and my feeling will in one line

let it be why didn’t I

so if I write it all out that will subside

but at the end of the day, now I’m 28

and I'm not ashamed to say

I want to make love with you every day

not below this line

I’m sexually frustrated yet again

I don’t know what to do

when we do have sex she’s a sandbag,

a lazy laborer you wouldn’t hire,

my best method is I give her massages

if her hair’s wet on her stomach, a mop

she just wants to ask what’s wrong and

I wanna have sex

2020-03-20 03:34:14 -0400 EDT

Other Logs: