friday 302 pM

how could I progress if I can’t’ be honest on here?

this is for me

I am now focusing on mastering discipline. I don’t know how long it will take.

I will learn discipline from the tree twisty. I will visit twisty for 30 days and focus on discipline every time I have a session there.

What are my strategies? How will I know if I’m disciplined?

What would my life look like if I mastered discipline?

what’s the cost of a spliff?

{{ DD1 }}

friday 911 PM there’s a special sting when a good woman leaves you.

1002 pm

it all gets abstracted away

all our problems

Im not doing anything new

open sourcing everything I make > ?

yeah I think I’m going to kill myself

moving here was such a terrible investment

I sold my car to move here

and have yet made any real progress

because the interent SUCKS FUCKING DICK FUCK YOU

and I don’t have transport

and I got real depressed cause it was May

and I just want to go home

but I know I can’t go home

cause I can only go where I can think straight

and the only way I could go back home

is if I could

have a fucking FIRE in the firepirt IN THE BACKYARD

but my mom is too fucking scared of that

and I am quitting all drugs

and I hate everyone

and I hate you

and I hate you michael most of all

I hope you fall next time you find yourself in a life threatening situation

which is on the regs lately

I hope you don’t live a long life

I hope you don’t have a strong bride

I hope you pay for what you squandered

from yourself and others

wasting just wasting your talents and your time

confusing yourself with values

fuck you and your tongue

fuck your ability to justify another round

fuck you for convincing me that I am strong

that I am special

that I can leave a big mark on humanity

Im going to sell everything I own this month right now

except the laser cutter AV bag / Poliwat in dad’s suitcase / laser cutter. Everything else MUST GO!!!!!

because you fucking suck michael betts

fuck you for it already being a year after you and asha broke up and this is where you’re at.

You should fucking kill yourself before you fail further.

Love, Michael Betts

Saturday 1209 AM

48 hours from the mental hotel I can feel it in my bones

Discipline Day 1

2018-06-01 15:02:24 -0700 -0700

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