** monday 850am**
City thoughts Monday. Gunshots woke me out of a dream I was having where I was telling my dad to breath the cancer away while he was lying down ill. He said only one sentence too me, and it had 3 complex words in it I can’t remember now. The gunshots and sirens sounded closeby, like on eastern parkway. The weekend was nice and shorter than hell. The central park trip to andres’s was fun and only fruitful to my body, since I lost 5 pounds dancing most of the time. I have to leave for work in 20 minutes - time flies! The second week starts today, and my quest 2 came in the mail so Jack and I can do our weekly show, but hes been MIA cause he’s writing with Brian. I always forget Gina has a personality Disorder, I met this guy Gi who was cool and didn’t talk much, and the party vibes were interesting but I wished I was more selective about my company now that weekend time feels so much more precious. The neo soul song famous anus is coming along nicely, and I’m going to write more on the train - and h and I couldn’t be happier - even though I had fucked up dreams all night. I want to get more set in a nice ryhtm, today I have to tell Frank I can’t build that app for him cause this new job is taking up too much time - but it’s taking up just the right amount of time really, the point is to work part time - just enough to pay living expenses and for this year I have that opportunity so I’m going to really take advantage of that. I don’t know where this day is going creatively, but I’m happily testing watered down coffee on the gut cause that’s my secret sauce. Why do we dream fucked up thigns? we’re lucky to n the first place - get all your fucked up thoughts out in dreams and then in real life you experience something else entirely. The VR headset is a game changer. I just need to get custom songs in beat saber - will do that at some point tonight. I want to get pro at that game, it’s going to be the new DDR for me. And you get to dance !! !! !J !JI JI!IOJ!I WORKOUT !!! !! ! ! Who cares but I have that paleblue email now and I need to start scheduling interviews whats a freeswrite outside of listing things you want to do, the urban shaman book said everything is always dreaming, it’s just a matter of tapping in - even rocks dream… I have to send these books to my mom and grandma, so they can fill out about their lives so I know them better. I want to get the brain I had back before this tap water experiment. But it is lost, and the new brain I come to find will be different from where I was. City thoughts in the next log.
look at the sky that's for you the headress for the poor beats as crowns for pros to proletariat spanked by rule 33 flabby fitness that's not me square schedule never since 19 slipping while hacking on bikes in my dreams without wheels hoverboards at 13 literature without emojis conversations mainstream without political policies sublminally driving that pour comprismied vessel called your soul lasted two seconds since you were tricked 500 years youn skyscrapers me nothing but square virues on the mind as if we forgot the original pyramids were eygyptian with wifi while I make off beat sounds high as lofi streaming being as more greedy than my enemies screaming no uploads just hard drives screaming screaming pleb life when no one has the attention span for my dice rice filled hentai head! you sucak when you improv sang yesterday in hip extra chromosome back water river banjo tycoon that line in the song before odepius hit the south 'mom fucked me, so I fucked her' it's either cards close to chest or ignore the rules to be taken to revelations unbearable, revelations unbelievable in the pits. All my role model died before 40, Im over halfway there. I sweat only when in a sauna vest from walmart, you wouldn't catch me dead in a crunch gym unless i was with Izzy for free adderall 5150'd on 21st birthday only reason I didn't jump off the bridge was Bonnie my sister my closest family & Lost in Translation on VLC at 5AM in the Cowell Library at UCSC. Michael Jackson played in the squad car when I was handcuffed being taken to the hospital, my real log about it involved table tennis, then freaking out over a found knife & my sneaking in of Infinite Jest, above the pay grade of poisoned food the nurses pay to live to rent All this trapped in an evernote account until Cam Tyler or Jack or Dibs get hired there, calling it in 5 years until they lost my data like they promised they wouldn't, because that was 5 databses ago crucio. Crucio to every one I live with officially given personality disorders by their therapists look at that healthcare, that's for you only way to make it in the states is the same as Russia in their insignia its justice on one side, something on the other side above my 88 a day pay grade as a teacher. Told helen I need 2,000 new words from her heard on the page otherwise I won't sleep with her tonight, and I'm working partime on wall street so I mean business. I'm the militant hippy of wall street, & I mean business & weite mean when there's no ciggies or headphones or weed in my presence. Those are pushed to me but those closest, in an instant, & we're heading from Fanellis to green poin in a minute. All this to say fuck Christian if Christian was Brian. Fernanda we gotta see all the time and fuck Gina, the sun going down is a lesson to you, we're leacing to meet Becca, whose in a mood cause hinge provided but not enough -- -- -- -- dash -- -- -- what we create may save us, what we scribble on the subway may save our relationship, what reason I need to pee 50% of waking life washes down the drain what's more important than repetition in music in order to identify music without repetition music for the elit, the proletariat were always the true elite, it's them all where the credit lies the top only can steal credit feel cultured & swallow more vain pull as they get older the soulless at the top eat adrenal glands of infants, soulless at the bottom eat taco bell and buy fitbits => the real bottom has the only truest concept of time - outside constraining conventions of numbers Numbers are as real as your broken heart & only exist in concept space, there's no trademark on concept space so you can't shop there, I can't think on a train I gotta piss Blood if it means I've been living my dreams and I'm 90% there Rust off the noggin No flask in pocket & a trumpet in the Distance the marching band marches closer than your imagination First concept raped in most great great grand parents most don't know their names of was imagination scirbbles go from fantasy to fiction to nonfiction depending on which watchlist you gain attention lyrics only go as deep as the imagination and mine's in finite so why do we fuck with fiction 4k 20K? when the new multi billion dollar industry is nonlinear narrative (only to be raped by subliminal messaging) fuck it I gotta piss & shit. not a city veteran yet genetic chance I missed AI would be able to recreate my mind with the degree of freewrite I leave behind, I'm out of time & Gaze openly sideways scribbles / prideless gibberish ------------- we made it -------------
I'm running in circles I hate the circle but I don't want to leave the circle, because a circle going N W E S is the closest direction a good lifetime travels relative to all the poor squares trapped in their own feeds blaming their upbringing professionally justified by comprimised fresh Psychologist justifying the meanings behind those short comings => born too fat for vogue or too dumb to code forgiving nothing but traces of infinite ego poisoning their sense of 'I', Aye Aye Blackbear with bongwater breath & cali Sunbleacher hair => hijack their vessels till the ship's captains stop blaming the childhoos unfortunate of their crews, for moby dick taight us all the most fraught anti sidewalk cafe crews lasted longer than the legends that got their mortal asses on the cannibal pond who showed them the world. You cant build a ship out of particle board, So why would you a bed, the most sacred of devices for pursuin inconsistent constent piece of mind, or lithium in the piece of shit propietary point of sale system no retail employee in 28 years has ever recmended the retail industry. No academic I respected by conversation by merit inspired any recomendation on a life in academics, for the mind in society was the first most focused the longest to be imprisoned. These Post Malone Bud Light ads creep me out, because he's been dead longer than I started rapping and if you can rap so 'bad' they make you an ad, then you got a vril, or a vril coming. A vril is a little worm found deep underground, that enters through the hosts' eyes & becomes the new king in the host's nervous system. Biden, Trump, Clinton, Snowden, Harris all ave that hint in their eye, they've been comprimised. You don't need drugs to see it, that explains the mormons generations off the grid, but you could use some mulled wine to describe it. No wonder I feel alienated, mostly since I can't proved it. Lock it up is the old lesson. Evidence of proof, burden of proof hasn't been enforced enough in Academia, and all of humanites in the states have been infiltrated. I won't last long on wall street with these thoughts or attitude, but I'm a natural method actor so I don't have to fake it. What's said is different, to what's written.