** monday 850am**

City thoughts Monday. Gunshots woke me out of a dream I was having where I was telling my dad to breath the cancer away while he was lying down ill. He said only one sentence too me, and it had 3 complex words in it I can’t remember now. The gunshots and sirens sounded closeby, like on eastern parkway. The weekend was nice and shorter than hell. The central park trip to andres’s was fun and only fruitful to my body, since I lost 5 pounds dancing most of the time. I have to leave for work in 20 minutes - time flies! The second week starts today, and my quest 2 came in the mail so Jack and I can do our weekly show, but hes been MIA cause he’s writing with Brian. I always forget Gina has a personality Disorder, I met this guy Gi who was cool and didn’t talk much, and the party vibes were interesting but I wished I was more selective about my company now that weekend time feels so much more precious. The neo soul song famous anus is coming along nicely, and I’m going to write more on the train - and h and I couldn’t be happier - even though I had fucked up dreams all night. I want to get more set in a nice ryhtm, today I have to tell Frank I can’t build that app for him cause this new job is taking up too much time - but it’s taking up just the right amount of time really, the point is to work part time - just enough to pay living expenses and for this year I have that opportunity so I’m going to really take advantage of that. I don’t know where this day is going creatively, but I’m happily testing watered down coffee on the gut cause that’s my secret sauce. Why do we dream fucked up thigns? we’re lucky to n the first place - get all your fucked up thoughts out in dreams and then in real life you experience something else entirely. The VR headset is a game changer. I just need to get custom songs in beat saber - will do that at some point tonight. I want to get pro at that game, it’s going to be the new DDR for me. And you get to dance !! !! !J !JI JI!IOJ!I WORKOUT !!! !! ! ! Who cares but I have that paleblue email now and I need to start scheduling interviews whats a freeswrite outside of listing things you want to do, the urban shaman book said everything is always dreaming, it’s just a matter of tapping in - even rocks dream… I have to send these books to my mom and grandma, so they can fill out about their lives so I know them better. I want to get the brain I had back before this tap water experiment. But it is lost, and the new brain I come to find will be different from where I was. City thoughts in the next log.

look at the sky that's for you
the headress for the poor
beats as crowns
for pros to proletariat
spanked by rule
33 flabby fitness
that's not me square
schedule never since
19 slipping while
hacking on bikes
in my dreams
without wheels
hoverboards at 13
literature without emojis
conversations mainstream
without political policies
sublminally driving that
pour comprismied
vessel called your soul
lasted two seconds
since you were tricked
500 years youn skyscrapers
me nothing but
square virues on the mind
as if we forgot the
original pyramids
were eygyptian with wifi
while I make off beat
sounds high as lofi
streaming being as more
greedy than my
screaming no uploads
just hard drives

screaming pleb life
when no one has the
attention span for my dice
rice filled hentai head!

you sucak when you improv
sang yesterday in hip
extra chromosome
back water river
banjo tycoon
that line in the song before odepius

hit the south
'mom fucked me, so I fucked her'
it's either cards close
to chest or ignore
the rules to be taken
to revelations unbearable,
revelations unbelievable
in the pits. All my role
model died before
40, Im over halfway
there. I sweat only
when in a sauna vest
from walmart, you wouldn't
catch me dead in a
crunch gym unless i
was with Izzy for
free adderall
5150'd on 21st
birthday only reason
I didn't jump off the
bridge was Bonnie
my sister my closest
family & Lost in
Translation on VLC
at 5AM in the Cowell Library
at UCSC.
Michael Jackson played
in the squad car
when I was handcuffed
being taken to the
hospital, my real log
about it involved table
tennis, then freaking out
over a found knife &
my sneaking in of
Infinite Jest, above
the pay grade of poisoned
food the nurses pay
to live to rent
All this trapped in
an evernote account
until Cam Tyler or
Jack or Dibs get
hired there, calling it in
5 years until they
lost my data like they
promised they wouldn't,
because that was
5 databses ago
crucio. Crucio to every
one I live with officially
given personality disorders
by their therapists

look at that healthcare,
that's for you
only way to make it in the
states  is the same as
Russia in their insignia
its justice on one side,
something on the other
side above my 88 a day
pay grade as a teacher.
Told helen I need 2,000
new words from her heard
on the page otherwise
I won't sleep with her
tonight, and I'm working
partime on wall street
so I mean business.
I'm the militant
hippy of wall street, &
I mean business &
weite mean when there's
no ciggies or headphones
or weed in my presence.
Those are pushed to me
but those closest, in an
instant, & we're heading
from Fanellis to green
poin in a minute.
All this to say fuck
Christian if Christian
was Brian. Fernanda we
gotta see all the time
and fuck Gina, the
sun going down is a
lesson to you,
we're leacing to meet
Becca, whose in a mood
cause hinge provided
but not enough

-- -- -- -- dash -- -- --

what we create may save us,
what we scribble on the subway
may save our relationship,
what reason I need to pee
50% of waking life washes
down the drain what's
more important than repetition
in music in order to identify
music without repetition
music for the elit, the
proletariat were always the
true elite, it's them all
where the credit lies
the top only can steal credit
feel cultured & swallow more
vain pull as they get older
the soulless at the top
eat adrenal glands of
infants, soulless at
the bottom eat taco
bell and buy fitbits =>
the real bottom has the
only truest concept of
time - outside constraining
conventions of numbers
Numbers are as real
as your broken heart &
only exist in concept
there's no trademark on
concept space so you can't
shop there,
I can't think on a train
I gotta piss
Blood if it means I've
been living my dreams
and I'm 90% there
Rust off the noggin
No flask in pocket
& a trumpet in the
the marching band marches
closer than your imagination
First concept raped in
most great great grand
parents most don't know
their names of
was imagination
scirbbles go from fantasy
to fiction to nonfiction
depending on which watchlist
you gain attention
lyrics only go as deep
as the imagination
and mine's in finite
so why do we fuck
with fiction 4k 20K?
when the new multi
billion dollar industry
is nonlinear narrative
(only to be raped by subliminal messaging)
fuck it I gotta piss
& shit.

not a city veteran yet
genetic chance I missed
AI would be able to
recreate my mind
with the degree
of freewrite I leave
I'm out of time &
Gaze openly sideways
scribbles / prideless
we made it   


I'm running in circles I hate
the circle but I don't want
to leave the circle, because
a circle going N W E S
is the closest direction a
good lifetime travels
relative to all the poor
squares trapped in their
own feeds blaming
their upbringing professionally
justified by comprimised
fresh Psychologist
justifying the meanings
behind those short
comings =>  born too fat
for vogue or
too dumb to code
forgiving nothing but traces
of infinite ego poisoning
their sense of 'I',
Aye Aye Blackbear with
bongwater breath & cali
Sunbleacher hair => hijack
their vessels till the
ship's captains stop
blaming the childhoos
unfortunate of their
crews, for moby dick
taight us all the most
fraught anti sidewalk
cafe crews lasted
longer than the legends that
got their mortal
asses on the cannibal
pond who showed them the world.
You cant build a ship
out of particle board,
So why would you a bed,
the most sacred of
devices for pursuin
inconsistent constent
piece of mind, or
lithium in the piece
of shit propietary
point of sale system
no retail employee
in 28 years has ever
recmended the
retail industry. No
academic I respected
by conversation by merit
inspired any recomendation
on a life in academics,
for the mind in society
was the first most
focused the longest to
be imprisoned. These
Post Malone Bud Light
ads creep me out,
because he's been dead
longer than I started rapping
and if you can rap so
'bad' they make you an ad,
then you got a vril,
or a vril coming.
A vril is a little worm
found deep underground,
that enters through
the hosts' eyes &
becomes the new
king in the host's
nervous system. Biden, Trump,
Clinton, Snowden, Harris
all ave that hint in their
eye, they've been
comprimised. You don't
need drugs to see it,
that explains the mormons
generations off the grid,
but you could use some
mulled wine to describe it.
No wonder I feel alienated,
mostly since I can't proved it.
Lock it up is the old lesson.
Evidence of proof,
burden of proof
hasn't been enforced enough
in Academia, and all
of humanites in the states have
been infiltrated.
I won't last long
on wall street with these
thoughts or attitude,
but I'm a natural method actor
so I don't have to fake it.
What's said is different,
to what's written.

City Thought Monday

2020-10-19 08:50:03 -0400 EDT

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