Thursdat 1:34 PM

In

ok no more lying

had some spliff a few hours ago but not feeling it anymore. I feel a slight buzz off this coffee. Slept in simone’s bed cause he’s out of town at Hunter’s place late last night - called darlene at like 1 am and talked to her for nearly an hour while skating to get a ham and cheese croissant, the first time after 5 attempts to get one at the local doughnut shop Ferrell’s. Everyone here pronounces Ferrell’s real white as if it’s an animal inclined establishment. But I say it the correct way.

A concept in freestlying last night came about when I kept mentioning that urban dictionary is the least wrong dictionary for the english language.

=-=-= =-=-= =-=-= =-=-= =-=-= =-=-= =-=-=

how do you orient yourself?

I orient myself by establishing the context

back to the fundamental

who

wha

aka how do I not burn out?

I need to fix this problem with my head. I know I can do it in about 3 months, if I focus. All I need is a little help from my friends. I already admitted to Darlene I’m trying to go sober but it’s difficult. I love drugs, because they’ve given me many unfathomable gifts. I don’t feel 26, I feel older in a way.

Because one of the main reasons I see to do drugs is to live longer. I know that’s counterintuitive, but it makes sense as an avid drug enthusiast for years.

For example, one time I just went for a piss while making music, and during the piss I had this crazy flashback of living the life of an aboriginal

As I’m highly sensitive and impressionable in a few ways. So just a taste, a hint of something and my imagination can on the regs take it to the extreme.

Because the ways I’ve altered my mind, I feel like I’ve lived a long time.

I’m 26, and I’ve already talked to God twice.

I know my destiny at large

I know my general career trajectory

I have experience cosmic pussy, that’s pussy so good it’s a profound gift and it doesn’t matter if I go to hell or become handicapped, homeless, or a failure. I already experienced pussy so good that just to experience it once, is enough for a lifetime of joy. That’s what cosmic pussy is to me, in this moment.

that feels like

gone into the yard a bit

down thought rabbit holes

down the chaotic system of consciousness

exploring consciousnes s

and just really observing different states of mind I can achieve, and the formula fr how to access them.

one day I’d like to formalize these different contexts, I can think of about 4 off the top of my head right now.

For example, a modified version of what hypnotists do to their customers.

You can enter a calm meditative state where you can explore your subconsciousness a bit, and that’s a place that’s a little more succeeding.

I need to do a serious smoking tribute in order to quit smoking. I think I’ll call it my last pack.

Anyways I hate to

all good rappers steal

all good rappers cheat


good rappers make good thieves

good thieves minimize

grief

when they steal

I steal from no one

I'm bad at stealing
I'm bad at


whats easy now
will be difficult
you're difficult

im down cause I fail to meet your expectations
your down cause you made that the situation

I'm not reasonable
dont treat me like I am
dont expect me like I am
accept me as I am

ok ?

Sam ?

Thursdat 218 PM

hmm 3 girls are trying to see me tonight that’s fun but really not fun,I just wanna be a celebit monk right now.

Thursdat 938 PM

I got a haircut at my place! feeling better than when I woke up, and before I know it I’ll be waking up again… going to post stuff to sell -__-

At or in the Lowest Point in the Bay

2018-08-23 13:25:10 -0700 -0700

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