Thursdat 1:34 PM
ok no more lying
had some spliff a few hours ago but not feeling it anymore. I feel a slight buzz off this coffee. Slept in simone’s bed cause he’s out of town at Hunter’s place late last night - called darlene at like 1 am and talked to her for nearly an hour while skating to get a ham and cheese croissant, the first time after 5 attempts to get one at the local doughnut shop Ferrell’s. Everyone here pronounces Ferrell’s real white as if it’s an animal inclined establishment. But I say it the correct way.
A concept in freestlying last night came about when I kept mentioning that urban dictionary is the least wrong dictionary for the english language.
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how do you orient yourself?
I orient myself by establishing the context
back to the fundamental
aka how do I not burn out?
I need to fix this problem with my head. I know I can do it in about 3 months, if I focus. All I need is a little help from my friends. I already admitted to Darlene I’m trying to go sober but it’s difficult. I love drugs, because they’ve given me many unfathomable gifts. I don’t feel 26, I feel older in a way.
Because one of the main reasons I see to do drugs is to live longer. I know that’s counterintuitive, but it makes sense as an avid drug enthusiast for years.
For example, one time I just went for a piss while making music, and during the piss I had this crazy flashback of living the life of an aboriginal
As I’m highly sensitive and impressionable in a few ways. So just a taste, a hint of something and my imagination can on the regs take it to the extreme.
Because the ways I’ve altered my mind, I feel like I’ve lived a long time.
I’m 26, and I’ve already talked to God twice.
I know my destiny at large
I know my general career trajectory
I have experience cosmic pussy, that’s pussy so good it’s a profound gift and it doesn’t matter if I go to hell or become handicapped, homeless, or a failure. I already experienced pussy so good that just to experience it once, is enough for a lifetime of joy. That’s what cosmic pussy is to me, in this moment.
that feels like
gone into the yard a bit
down thought rabbit holes
down the chaotic system of consciousness
exploring consciousnes s
and just really observing different states of mind I can achieve, and the formula fr how to access them.
one day I’d like to formalize these different contexts, I can think of about 4 off the top of my head right now.
For example, a modified version of what hypnotists do to their customers.
You can enter a calm meditative state where you can explore your subconsciousness a bit, and that’s a place that’s a little more succeeding.
I need to do a serious smoking tribute in order to quit smoking. I think I’ll call it my last pack.
Anyways I hate to
all good rappers steal all good rappers cheat good rappers make good thieves good thieves minimize grief when they steal I steal from no one I'm bad at stealing I'm bad at whats easy now will be difficult you're difficult im down cause I fail to meet your expectations your down cause you made that the situation I'm not reasonable dont treat me like I am dont expect me like I am accept me as I am ok ? Sam ?
Thursdat 218 PM
hmm 3 girls are trying to see me tonight that’s fun but really not fun,I just wanna be a celebit monk right now.
Thursdat 938 PM
I got a haircut at my place! feeling better than when I woke up, and before I know it I’ll be waking up again… going to post stuff to sell -__-