Monday 226 PM

Today I found out the real founder of 911 was blind, and he spent some time in New York.

Moving and cleaning the room Day 2, very deep in it.

Moving gives you an air of sentiment. There are great as well as painful memories, and they’re all treasured. The time capsule box has been selected and I have my items chosen to go inside, a fake degree Sean the provost handed me at graduation, and unopened Yoshi toy from Mcdonalds.

So I would write my ex tiny letters, and now I repurposed the letter-making kit into a little zipper notebook situation. When I hit San Mateo I’ll be sure to write strangers tiny letters. I’ll hide them in cassettes and my favorite books around the city.

The Zelda binge this past week has inspired me to itemize my possessions. We start a new chapter at my parents house. I’ve lived in Santa Cruz on and off the past 5 years, but this move is the first time that I need to essentially remove all trace of my existence at my parents. It’s quite a thorn in the side. But it’s overall a good push, now I need to move the shit I’ll travel around with for the rest of my life. The other stuff will go in the attic. Anyways Zelda inspired that I know how many articles of clothing I own. And I’m keeping the good stuff.

I have postit notes sectioned off across the room(like my mom) delegating where items go - San Mateo, Attic, Goodwill, and Studio(Garage).

K back to cleaning. Also hamilton soundtrack for days

Sonically it’s going well.

M=338 PM


found some addy daddy while doing laundry!
4th load is the charm

I will be depressed after but it’s worth it I’m seasoned when it comes to depression its a storm that is somewhat a joy to navigate (like a sailor)


While cleaning I found a card my mom wrote me. It wasn’t your normal birthday card with unfocused thoughts wishing you happiness, it was a card written after a sort of altercation we had. I don’t remember it, but after cleaning I’ll ask my mom if she can read it for me into the mic. It’s on the table now so I don’t forget.


It’s been months since I’ve had a positive thought about my ex. I still average about 1 negative thought/memory of her every 8 minutes. This has been the biggest way I’ve been wasting time, but today marks a light at the end of the tunnel.

Look at this future Michael

She’s still my favorite artist. But I think its time to pick a new fav.

She’s still my favorite artist. But I think its time to pick a new fav.

She’s still my favorite artist. But I think its time to pick a new fav.

She’s still my favorite artist. But I think its time to pick a new fav.

Our old favorite date spot Saturn Cafe in Santa Cruz

Be better to me in the next universe QTpi

Cleaning has been too good to me.

also this is a sweet guy that worked right next to me and I would see him and his GF all the time.

FINALLY I found his deviant art again! IT’S SICK

BasilisKonline - Facebook, Twitter, DeviantArt, Art Station

BasiliskArt - Tumblr

His irl name is Dyer and he’s a gem. I’m always rooting for him. -=-=-=–=-=-=-=–=-=-=-=–=-=-=-=–=-=-=-=–=-=-=-=–=-=-=-=–=

517 pm

Life stops I need to read this (paul told me about it today)


“In the end, human beings can get used to everything…”

a good priest === ‘He had a positive way of thinking and a clear judgment, free of prejudice and stereotypes. His mind was robust and bright.’

“I see you staring at these worthless books,” he told me as if he could read my mind, “Don’t expect big things from them. I’ve read them all. I know all that’s been said by the brightest minds of all times. But I will never feel the power that real love has to raise you to the highest point of knowledge… I’ll never experience a love like that…”

““Even the very toughest pain is welcomed, both physical and mental. Vindication will come in the end. Never should a sigh come out of a human mouth.” “ chrysanthemums

“ “When you concentrate your thought entirely on this rock, without allowing your mind to think about anything else, it’s like you’re living in that era, two thousand years ago… What more would a person see back then, if spent at this spot for a couple of minutes? For those minutes, this rock would be their world…

I got carried away and answered him: “And after the same amount of years it will still be the same… This land has strong and solid foundations. So many things will have happened in the meantime, so much will have changed until then, and yet this piece of rock will remain exactly the same; this is the incredible thing! So, staring at it, and forgetting for a moment everything else around us, isn’t it like we’re living in the future for a second? ” “

March 21st 1923

I’m not feeling better. I think I’ve gotten worse from the surprising temperature drop over the past few days. This cough – which in the beginning I thought would pass - doesn’t seem to be leaving me alone. I didn’t like the look on the doctor’s face yesterday. But what else is there to tell me? If I am to die, let it be. After what I’ve experienced, what else remains for me to see? For as much life as I’ve got left, that will be my prayer and that will my soul await.”

  • I like this passage because it’s my bday

“ I have no friends, my mother is dead. I’m completely alone in the world. So, whoever you are - you who somehow, one day, will end up with my manuscripts, be my friend and understand me. Do not laugh and do not mock me. I’ve been tried and tested a lot in life. Everything you read, I’ve seen with my own eyes - I’ve lived it, I’ve touched it, I believe and I worship it all! “

Ilectes - (a term used for senior officials of the spiritual leadership, who had a special position in the social life of that future era))

“the great and unified reality lying beyond the human perception of the past, present and future”.

“ The two elders left. The time had passed without me realizing it and it was now dark outside. Valleys and mountains surrounded me. I could hear the now familiar celestial melody (their evening prayer), sang by children’s voices as coming from far away, from another, extraterrestrial world. Truth be told, I never wanted it to stop.

“ I also recall breathing the scented spring air and sometimes, a celestial melody coming to my weary ears. It resembled a prayer sung by children’s voices. I could distinguish the sound of the harp. I had never heard anything more melodic and more extraordinary in my life, and I wished it would never stop. And then I wondered whether I had died, but if I had why would I feel sick and feverish?

“ The Valley of the Roses will have the last “

“ Nevertheless, I am not entirely in a position to know if I’ve interpreted correctly all that this wise man has patiently taught me. It is us, he says, who pass by, not time. We, the human creatures with the short-lived biological destiny, come and go. The dimension of depth eludes us. Our antennas have a very limited capacity. They only form subjective impressions that are totally irrelevant to the true and objective “Great Reality”, the Samith (a term used by the Adersen Institute: the total of what exists. The essence of this terms is impossible to perceive due to the restriction of human abilities) as he called it.


“I was impressed by their manners that would be considered rather childish for their age. It seemed very strange for Northam to have such a circle of friends since I knew that, before the accident, he was a respected young scientist who had worked in some sector of applied physics- I don’t remember which one exactly- and with quite good results for that matter. In fact, the institute for which he was working had called the Molsen Institute several times asking about his health. “

the future way to act is like a child

a child at play is the most focused and even dangerous

Waren, Cernobbio, Belano, Menaggio

“ How did that happen? How did these people leave their jobs and tune themselves with our rhythm and our way of having fun? I was immensely impressed by that spontaneous and easily acquired joy, their positive attitude and their will to identify with us! The fun was generalized as if the rhythm of the song became an invisible bond that made us one! Before we headed to the lake, we applauded our new friends and they applauded us, as if we were old mates or acquaintances. “

“I stop and observe their codes of conduct. As Stefan explained to me, in this new world prevails the strange habit of not being strangers to anyone. They talk to people they have never met open-heartedly, like they are old friends of theirs; and the latter respond with the exact same way in return. They all have the same kind of relaxed attitude, the same naivety in their manners, the same benevolence, the same tact, the same brotherhood, as if they have all gone to a big, universal college in their childhood.”

I replied that he should, however, appreciate the honesty and principles that characterized Silvia, who never even thought of reciprocating without having feelings for him. “Somebody else in her place,” I said, taking into account Northam’s reputation, “wouldn’t really mind feigning love and affection in order to be with him.” Stefan, startled at first by my words, replied, “Why would you say that? That would be vulgar! No woman would do that!”

universal tongue type beat -==-==–=-==–=-=-=-

ask people what they’re doing :“what are you doing?”:

Listening to beethoven’s 5th, it’s been a long time. Used to listen to this daily

2 years of castraited subpar humor was the last ex occassionally she was downright hilarious. Where she lacked in social cues, comfort, and affluency, she had a way with words.

Personally don’t know anyone more focused and genuinely interested in people than myself, a quality that my future wife will most likely trump me on. Women have a more intimate understanding of people because they are inherently more physical. Since allocating more of my mental resources away from written word and language (before the breakup), and instead more into physical intelligence. POLIWAT is a way to further develop that physical intelligence that David Dunn put me in tears describing.

629 pm

Most days, my reality changes dramatically. I hold a deep respect to the rituals I’m developing to maintain this.

-=–=- mapping has been born as my new hobby (for lack of a better word) -=-=-=-=-==-

1 hr edu youtube

oh gawd addy daddy brain coming in hot 10-4 be advised

702 PM ##The autistic diplomat Talking about maintaining interpersonal relationships with people

752 pm cannibas

social media ranges from terrible master to excellent slave

848 pm
My cousin broke his clavicle!! It look like this


LIT == 904 PM

7 minutes from 911

facebook twitter marines nazi

green type beat

aries type beat seporapoh type beat aeris leeloo loosie ashtray wonton top ramen college dorm aikido kendo sumiotoshi karate kid

queen type beat poverty type beat Second Nature type beat Expensive type beat Resume type beat Job hunting type beat weed type beat nightcap type beat overdose type beat underdose type beat microdose type beat

american spirit type beat racism type beat

traffic type beat money type beat wealth type beat scripture type beat bible type beat agony type beat desperate type beat longing type beat shroom type beat sex type beat

smart water type beat hi IQ type beat lo IQ type beat

binaural type beat

fire type beat water type beat electric type beat pokemon type beat

nake juice type beat vegan type beat gluten free but I drink beer type beat

gym type beat leg day type beat cardio type beat chest type beat

kill yourself type beat

virgin type beat adjusting type beat mentally ill type beat mental illness type beat slave type beat

hermes type beat boa constrictor type beat

python type beat cobra type beat cobalt type beat lua type beat css type beat html type beat java type beat


truth type beat

true true type beat

hypertube type beat family type beat lucifer type beat baphomet type beat ba-al type beat baial

mephistopheles type beat

bathsheba type beat mary magdeline type beat

bloody tears type beat

taco bell type beat

Catholic type beat

Buddhist type beat zen type beat

Valentine type beat

halloween type beat nirvana type beat

new wave type beat

oraganic fruit snacks type beat

rick and morty type beat

kirkland type beat

budweiser type beat 40 type beat coors type beat

puberty type beat nun type beat

trump type beat

Tuesday 249 AM

I just watched kevin throw up in his normal throwup spot behind a bush in the neighborhood we grew up in. It was both beautiful and destructive at the same time. We listened to a metal song on his phone, and from the dim light of the phoen screen I could see the bile and mucus hang out his throat. It was interesting too see so much slober. A healthy throwup session from drinking too much is the way the Europeans do it - one clean throwup and you continue drinking. That’s if you get to throw up early. He however on the regs throws up too late in the game. But he also confessed that he threw up earlier in the day.

All I can note that it takes a strong motherfucker to be able to puke that much on the regs, all completely self inflicted. Seeing that is the gift. This is the beat we made right before, he went to bed- I’m going to polish it off but the melatonin is kicking in.

911 And The Blind Shake

2017-09-11 14:26:12 -0700 -0700

Other Logs: